Thursday, January 6, 2011

Seven tips for making love Work Out - Prenups 101

1. What are the most common situations, marriage contract for marriage for the first time?

A: There are two types of marriage contracts or prenups:

One is the part where the husband or the wife of a family affair as big as a real estate empire. Here is the marriage contract is the family inherits a non-blood relatives as a partner through death or divorce to protect the settlements.

A second situation occurs when the bride or groom has a considerable fortune, much more profitableCareer and his partner is not.

2. It is not just romantic?

A: Absolutely. It's nothing less romantic than sitting in a room with two lawyers at a conference table to discuss what happens when you die is business, divorce, or one of you. You have to consider all possible outcomes horrible. It 's all colors, kills romance and can put a sudden end to the period of courtship.

But it's not romantic when you need to change dirty diapersleaked around the crib sheet. Not everything is romantic marriage.

3. Do you see a trend where more people are looking in particular at first marriage is prenups?

R. Yes I think it's a big change that is occurring, particularly in large urban areas, where people are waiting longer and longer to marry - the average age is between 30 and 34 you have more to lose, rather than what they saw can go wrong. This is a pragmatic choice, andMarriage. With a prenuptial agreement is an essential part of it. college of a woman with an income above $ 50,000, married over the age of 25 and has no children when she married, divorce is much less likely. For example, this tendency to a lower divorce rate for the state of New York and New York than the national average is performed.

4. The prenup whole situation sounds like a recipe for disaster. Can anything good out of this?

A: Absolutely. You learn a lot aboutyou and your partner: about fears and insecurities and the trends too greedy, pushy or submissive behavior. they can learn that you can not really do the right thing for you and saves you a lot of problems in the future. Or you can learn right you really are for each other - can work together, like you, even in a very difficult situation.

The contract of marriage means that couples will go from fresh-faced lovers dovey fantasy with real life: the possibility of betrayal, loss and alsoDeath. But this can be a positive experience. When you face loss, love can flourish. Signed a marriage contract means that both realize that you miss each other. If you understand that the relationship most appreciated are more likely to work on it. They are less likely to take another for granted.

The marriage contract also provides for the possibility of your partner as a distinct person, with experience needs and desires. He must be able to see it their way and must be able to view itits way - with empathy and compassion. Then you can meet in the middle. Learn to negotiate the forces of the marriage partners to resolve conflicts. And these are critical to creating win-win solutions in marriage, the door to make love to do.

5. If in a committed relationship should be the theme?

A. The marriage contract should be placed as soon as possible. Ideally, before the marriage proposal in the context of a discussion on what each person sees what he wantsand the need to get happily married.

It should not be in front of partner countries, "a paper that is a mere formality" that are signed must be expressed in the final minutes, when the invitations are sold out and the pressure to continue with the marriage. Ideally, the marriage contract is the subject of legal debate whether the proposal should happen in the air as a way or immediately after it occurs.

6. What technology do you recommend for kicking off the debate?

R. It 's veryvery powerful technique in this potentially explosive situation by using what I call 10 minutes listening session. And 'where one partner is playing "therapist" and is a 10-minute session, the other partner, where he / she simply listens empathically, their fears, thoughts, desires, and marriage, including issues concerning the marriage contract . Then the partners can be reversed. You can do this as often as necessary.

The couple must share a couple of their pre-marital counselingDesires, needs and desires in marriage. This is a good neutral space in the air upsets and disagreements over the prenuptial agreement and a win-win solution.

7. What about the lawyers and the legal process?

A. Both parties have legal representation to make it a solid agreement that must be difficult to overturn. Everyone should have a pro-marriage supporter, that a win-win negotiation is the target believes. In a marriage contract, both parties must disclose their assets. Otherwise, it wasConsent to a solution and you do not have all the facts. The contract of marriage usually covered with children, death, life insurance, adultery, divorce. The timing of these events is examined, that is, the longer the marriage, the more money is in liquidation.

A work contract of marriage can be a wonderful resource for both members of couples where both realized that their needs will be provided, to win in the event of divorce or death.

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